“Stay Sexy, And Don’t Get Murdered”

Welcome! For those of you who have joined me this week you are probably here for one of three reasons.

One – You are an avid follower of the blog (Congrats! There are approximately three of you). Two – The title left you wanting to know more. And reason number three, and the most likely – You, are a Murderino. If you are here for reasons one or two – three may have you running for the hills. But if not, and you are sticking around, let me fill you in on the subject of this weeks blog.

How many of you listen to podcasts? Don’t raise your hand (I can’t see you). If you don’t, then you clearly have a much too active social life and should probably think about reeling that in. Look. Listen. Look and listen. How you choose to spend your free time is none of my business. However, I think very highly of my own opinions and decided by sharing them, your life will be that much better! Alright I’m not THAT much of a narcissist, but I do think that podcasts are an incredible form of media, and if you aren’t listening to them you are missing out on some fantastic content put out by extremely talented individuals.

Exhibit A, being Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark – The badass bitches who host the True Crime podcast, My Favorite Murder. And we can’t forget to mention Steven Ray Morris – everyones favorite mustached producer, and of course Elvis the talking cat. The four of them make up the most riveting and hilarious (yes its a comedy people!) murder podcast you have ever listened to. From Ted Bundy to the Co-Ed Killer, they cover everything in between. Serial killers to one offs and the occasional ghost story, there is something for everyone within their very impressive 100+ episodes.

They have an incredible following of true crime junkies who are self named, “Murderinos”, all of whom have found a common ground through their fucked up fascination with murder. Let me rephrase, its not so much the murder part we find fascinating, its the murderers and how they came to be the monsters they turned into.

If you have a morbid fascination with this type of subject and like to have a good laugh, then I highly recommend you give this podcast a listen. Another great aspect of this podcast is how Karen and Georgia interact with their audience and get them involved. Not only do they do tours and live shows all around the world, they also read what they call “Hometown Murders” – These are the stories sent in by the listeners about murders they have some connection to, either directly or murder adjacent.

Of all the episodes, my favorite is episode 91 – where they are live from the Sony Centre in Toronto, Ontario. The reason being, that Karen covers the murderers, Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka. If you have never heard of this, do yourself a favor and listen to it, because it is BEYOND bananas. They also reference a hometown murder for this specific case in episode 2 of the podcast, so if you want to start at the beginning (Which I did and caught up on 100 episodes in less than 2 months), you will get a small glimpse into this case right from the beginning. It’s well worth every minute you spend listening. And if for some crazy reason you don’t like it, then you can put in a complaint to Karen and Georgia and they will probably tell you to go fuck ya self.

Alright! On that note… it’s hometown time Murderinos! This is my favorite murder. (That was my impression, how did I do?) Okay sorry back to the main act.

Let me set the scene for you;

It is 2014. I am sitting in a lecture hall on the first day of my junior year of college at the University of Minnesota. My friend Tori is sitting next to me, and we both notice a strange woman sitting in the back of the room. She is older, however this was normal for the major that we were in so that wasn’t what creeped us out. It was the fact that she silently sat there observing everything as though she was documenting every single student in the room. Fast forward ten minutes to the start of class and she walks up and introduces herself as Rose Marie Kuehni – The professor for this class. Ohhhhh okay that explains the intent observations; or so we thought.

Alright, we are going to fast forward again, but instead of ten minutes this time, we are going one year into the future.

It is now December 2015. I am at Grandma’s for Christmas just spending time with the family. I receive a text from my friend Tori, remember her from earlier? Well all she sent was a link to an article titled, “Charges: Prescott woman shot boyfriend, placed him in box, drove body out of state”. Hell yes. Let’s go. As you can tell, the murderino in me was particularly intrigued, so I start reading.

The article goes on to tell how a woman from Prescott, Minnesota is being investigated into the murder of her boyfriend after relatives reported they did not show up to Thanksgiving, and they had not heard from the couple.

The article continues by telling the story that the woman told them. Her story goes;

She shot her boyfriend twice after they had gotten in an argument and she stated, “He was yelling he was going to rape me again”. She claimed that he had been abusive of her for a few years after having suspected she was cheating on him. She said after the first shot he kept coming at her, so she shot him again. She then sat in the room for a while with her boyfriends lifeless body. All the while she had been naked.

After deciding that “she couldn’t look at him anymore”, she put on some clothes, wrapped him in a sheet and then placed him in a large box used for Christmas wreaths. She then proceeded to store his body in the backyard shed for two days, until Thanksgiving morning.

That morning she called her “lover” whom she had met at a Mankato Walmart, and asked him to meet her in Bloomington, Minnesota to pick up a package. So she hoisted the box into the back of her pickup and drove to Bloomington to pass off said box to said man.

When questioned about their relationship, the man stated, “we would meet, have sex, and then leave”. Romantic.

After their meeting the man drove across state lines and dumped the body on the side of a road in Kentucky, while the woman went home to clean up the crime scene.

I have now gotten to a point in the article that is talking about the woman’s trial and what her name and background was. The article states,

“Kuehni, an adjunct professor of construction management with the University of Minnesota’s College of Continuing Education, drew detailed diagrams of the house and where the shooting occurred.”

And my jaw hit the mother fucking floor. By now you may have deducted that the woman in the story was my college professor. However when my friend sent me the article I had no background and no idea why she had sent me it, other than my sick fascination with the subject.

But I was beyond disbelief at this point and of course start freaking the fuck out in the middle of my Grandparents living room on Christmas Day.

I still don’t know how she pleaded and I don’t really want to, but I would assume she made some deal after claiming self defense. But however it ended up, I still have a murderous ex professor who shot her boyfriend, put him in a box and had her Walmart lover dump his body in good ole Kentucky.

So I know this blog was a long one, but if you stuck around, I hope you enjoyed my hometown murder. And if you did, then check out the podcast, My Favorite Murder, where you can hear the pros tell these stories. And until next time, in the words of Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark,

Stay Sexy, And Don’t Get Murdered!